The personal message system is primarily for scene friends to stay in touch. It is not provided for trawlers looking to get their rocks off. We have a longstanding policy that involves us protecting our members both in the physical world and here in the cyber realms. The girls pretty much all welcome this policy, and feel much safer on the scene as a consequence. Our scene is based very much on mutual trust and respect, and you are very unlikely to get anything other than a polite rebuttal if randomly PMing members, and as it is reported to us mods gets you off to a bad start.

Don't PM people you don't know seeking play, a Mistress or whatever unless you have been invited to personally, there was a sitewide invite generally, or they have a personal ad on their profile and you believe you meet the criteria.

Socials, Munches, Tension, Dungeon, Quiz night... there are no shortages of opportunities to meet sceners in the flesh. If you are too busy to make time to make just one of those or other many events, then you're probably too busy for this lifestyle too.